expectations for myself that i can modestly/reasonably reach…(within my personal abilities)
“there’s a big difference between the healthy pursuit of excellence and the unhealthy striving for an impossible ideal,” says the book Perfectionism—What’s Bad About Being Too Good? It adds: “Perfectionism can be a heavy burden because, let’s face it, nobody’s perfect.”
The Bible agrees. It states: “There is no righteous man on earth who always does good.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)
The Bible says: “Let your reasonableness become known.” (Philippians 4:5) Reasonable people are balanced in what they expect of themselves and in what they expect of others.
The Bible says: “Walk in modesty with your God!” (Micah 6:8) Modest people recognize their limitations. They don’t take on more than they can handle; nor do they spend more time on a task than they can afford.
The Bible says: “Whatever your hand finds to do, do with all your might.” (Ecclesiastes 9:10) So the remedy for perfectionism isn’t laziness; it’s industriousness, but blended with the qualities mentioned above—reasonableness and modesty. [excerpted: Am I a Perfectionist? Young People Ask]
“HUMILITY attracts. We usually feel drawn to those who have a humble spirit. Sadly, though, genuine humility is hard to find in today’s world—especially in those who have power or authority over others.”
(Unless i bow low, cannot be raised up…(Nor can i attain accurate knowledge without humility.))
an interesting/comforting Psalm 113…
Who is like Jehovah our God,
The one who dwells*(enthroned) on high?
6 He stoops down to look on heaven and earth,
7 Raising the lowly from the dust.
He lifts up the poor from the ash heap*(garbage dump)
pride sadly causes us to be insensitive and stubborn and self-centered and unwilling to help Others, etc. (or to bow low enough to elevate another’s needs)…so, Yeah! i will (try)/continue cultivating humility/to bow low to compassion and the Only True God of Compassion!
Matching…perhaps, that is the ultimate feat of self-control??…the ultimate accomplishment of a work in progress?…of a life in progress
complete unity!…the matching of our inner thoughts with our outer words and with our actions both big and small.
Outwardly…we put our best foot forward…don’t we all like to be viewed as good, or kind or compassionate or whatever…(insert your favorite positive trait here)…but does that match the kind of person we truly are on the inside??
and not bitter sweet
am reminded of this verse:
“Now that you have purified yourselves by your obedience to the truth with unhypocritical brotherly affection as the result, love one another intensely from the heart.” (1 Peter 1:22)
“A Rainy Day Pick Up!” (Let me explain.)
When it’s a stormy/rainy day–there’s a particular procedure to pick the kids up from school safely. (Here in FL we get torrential.)
The girls and i still got drenched, soaked to the bone sorta (with 1 see-through-clear umbrella and 2 hoodies, blue and pink). However, We made it!…safely to the car; our destination, a block or so away…actually, the short ride home was uneventful traffic-wise which was a surprise. (And what’s a few minutes of being wet?? Nothing! to complain about)…Snuggly-warm in my dry clothes/pants now. i gotta thing for pockets…(since spraining my ankle a while back:World Mental Health Day: When the Caregiver is a Child)…and how fortunate am i to have: “Very” generous friends that constantly pass on/give me stuff…like these a&f pants: navy blue, khaki, front-hand and side-button and back-side…perfect pockets (6 of ’em) lol. Usually, i’m in skirts and dresses/dress clothes A LOT/frequently/most days. (odd i know)…to be raving on about my pocket pants. Now what’s in my pockets?…(hmmmmm, me to know;) Yeah, i’m a geek..uh-huh, do own a “pocket” bible.
We all need a rainy day “pick up” aka a particular procedure that keeps us safe say…from drowning in disappointment. From time to time who hasn’t felt disappointed with themselves/(i.e.unfinished, mountainous, projects hanging over my head) or disappointed with somebody else or over something??
Excerpts: You can be Happy despite disappointments w08: (my highlights)
Jehovah God focused, not on the problem, but on the solution.
God’s Word encourages us to focus on positive things rather than on what might have been or what we should have done. It says: “Whatever things are true, whatever things are of serious concern, whatever things are righteous, whatever things are chaste, whatever things are lovable, whatever things are well spoken of, whatever virtue there is and whatever praiseworthy thing there is, continue considering these things.”—Philippians 4:8.
Many of us tend to exaggerate the negative when we experience disappointment.
It is easy for us to react with bitter resentment when people disappoint us.
Disappointments can be viewed as necessary experience along the way to ultimate success.
“Time and unforeseen occurrence” befall us all, states God’s Word. (Ecclesiastes 9:11) All of a sudden, a crime, an accident, or a disease can bring great distress—and disappointment. The Bible also says: “Expectation postponed is making the heart sick.” (Proverbs 13:12) Eager anticipation of something good fills us with joy, but if it is not soon realized, we may feel a depressing sense of letdown.
Similarly, faithful King Jehoshaphat erred when he formed an alliance with God’s enemies. Jehovah’s prophet said: “For this there is indignation against you from the person of Jehovah. Nevertheless, there are good things that have been found with you.” (2 Chronicles 19:2, 3) Jehovah recognized that one mistake did not make Jehoshaphat a traitor. In the same way, we can avoid losing friends if we do not overreact when they err. Friends who disappoint us may still have fine qualities.
Other “reasonable” readings:
With the fast pace of life today, the more we try to keep up, the further we seem to fall behind. Demands on our time and energy can be unrelenting, and when we fail to get done what we set out to do, there is a tendency to come down on ourselves. We could even begin to feel as though we are letting others down.
Unreasonably high expectations easily turn into perfectionism, and this can be most frustrating. Ben, a young married man, confesses: “When I examine my actions, thoughts, or feelings, I always see how they could have been better. I am constantly looking for perfection, and this leads to impatience, frustration, and disappointment.” Gail, a Christian wife, says: “Perfectionist thinking does not allow for failure. We want to be supermoms and superwives. We have to be productive to be happy, so wasted effort irritates us.”
Yet another factor that can lead to personal disappointment is deteriorating health and old age. Diminished mobility and energy magnify our limitations and add to feelings of frustration. “I felt impatient with myself for not being able to accomplish things that were so easy and natural before I got sick,” acknowledges Elizabeth.
The foregoing is a sampling of what can trigger feelings of disappointment. Left unchecked, such feelings can even lead us to believe that we are not appreciated by others.
[..]remember that Jehovah is reasonable and understanding. Psalm 103:14 reminds us: “He himself well knows the formation of us, remembering that we are dust.” Knowing our capabilities and limitations, Jehovah expects from us only what we are able to give. And one thing he does ask of us is “to be modest in walking with [our] God.”—Micah 6:8.
The consequences of perfectionist thinking are well summed up in the adage: “To expect life to be tailored to our specifications is to invite frustration.” To avoid this, an adjustment in thinking is required. Humility and modesty—having a realistic view of our limitations—will most certainly nurture in us balanced and reasonable expectations.
Cultivating reasonable expectations can help us cope with frustrations and disappointments. Excerpts: Why Be Reasonable in Our Expectations? w00
i was taught expect nothing–appreciate everything!:) Just making rainy day (positive pick up) thinking adjustments…like changing my wet clothes…for dry, fun ones.
Focusing on the Positives:
YAY!:) and i was on time today like all day!…(despite it all, eh?)
3.23.15 today’s date: a measurement of (modern) time. Measuring time and growth can be challenging; obviously.
(i like to reflect/compare my inner growth: year to year or from time to time: to ascertain to some degree (or as accurately as possible within reason) my particular progress (in a given area: usually my compassion/spirituality) as fragile-breathing-life.)
Reading ancient examples of those who exhibited qualities i value helps (me). Usually i look/study long-gone dead guys and gals (with qualities i admire or not)…because You have an opened and closed period of time…a complete measurement of a person/personality/life span/example from which to learn…birth to death…proven patterns of choices throughout a life course and their outcomes (evidence) showing positive or negative consequences/successes or failures (from certain choices they made or didn’t make, etc.). Unforgettable historical examples. (Excellent self-help material.)
(i may never be over You, but i may just be under You, eh?)…Peace pursuing always, bien sur, 3.23.15 & every day.
Humility & Modesty are essential to wisdom. “IF” any of us can make wiser/est choices, the “when” results will be of the higher/est good…”everybody wins” type of results! (In other words, less suffering/harm or no suffering/harm.)
An ancient male example: Saul.
Saul came from a wealthy family. A handsome man, standing head and shoulders taller than all others of his nation, he possessed great physical strength and agility. (1Sa 9:1, 2; 2Sa 1:23) The name of his wife was Ahinoam. Saul fathered at least seven sons, Jonathan, Ishvi, Malchi-shua, Abinadab, Ish-bosheth (Eshbaal), Armoni, and Mephibosheth, as well as two daughters, Merab and Michal.
The young man Saul lived during a turbulent time of Israel’s history. Philistine oppression had reduced the nation to a helpless state militarily (1Sa 9:16; 13:19, 20), and the Ammonites under King Nahash threatened aggression. (1Sa 12:12)
How was Saul described or viewed?
“there was no man among the Israelites more handsome than he and he stood head and shoulders taller than all the people.” (1 Samuel 9:2)
Well, how did Saul (really) view or describe himself?
“Am I not a Benjaminite of the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my family the most insignificant of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin?” (1Samuel 9:21)
“Later, at Mizpah, when chosen as king by lot (1Sa 10:20, 21, JB;NE), Saul bashfully hid among the luggage. Found, he was presented as king, and the people approvingly shouted: “Let the king live!” Escorted by valiant men, Saul returned to Gibeah. Though good-for-nothing men spoke disparagingly of him and despised him, Saul remained silent.—1Sa 10:17-27.” (Saul, Insight on Scriptures, Vol. 2)
It’s noteworthy, at the beginning of his reign/kingship, he was little in his own eyes. His modest/humble opinion of himself…at this point in his life…served him and others well. It protected him from irrational acts as King and abuses of power.
Humility and modesty can help safeguard me from acting rashly! When humility and modesty make up the fabric of a person, one refrains from abusing their power…in all aspects of life: power within any relationship, within the family, at work, in the neighborhood, community, globe.
Sadly after just two years as King, Saul lost his humility and started acting presumptuously…”he fabricated excuses for taking things into his own hands.” Saul’s life thereafter became a chain of tragic events causing suffering…and betraying his lack of humility/modesty leading to his “ignominious death.” (Did Kingly power go to his head?)
an example: 1 of many:
“In the progress of the campaign against the Philistines, Saul pronounced a curse upon anyone partaking of food before vengeance was executed on the enemy. This rash oath led to adverse consequences. The Israelites tired, and though they triumphed over the Philistines, their victory was not as great as it might have been. Famished, they did not take time to drain the blood from the animals they afterward slaughtered, thereby violating God’s law concerning the sanctity of blood. Not having heard his father’s oath, Jonathan ate some honey. Saul, therefore, pronounced the death sentence upon him. But the people redeemed Jonathan, for he had been instrumental in Israel’s gaining the victory.—1Sa 14:1-45.” (Saul, Insight on Scriptures, Vol. 2)
Saul illustrates the necessity to stifle self-importance…and how thinking too much of ourselves, our opinions, our solutions can cause lasting harm instead of lasting help. (A humble heart compassionately cares for all…doesn’t make partial distinctions…uses power for the greater good of all fragile-life.)
i enJOYed these grasshopper points: my highlights:
Since humility involves a state of mind—that is, how we view ourselves and others—developing humility requires deliberate effort. Reasoning and meditating on our relationship with Jehovah and with our fellowman can help us to stay humble. In God’s eyes, all […] flesh is as green grass that grows for a time, then dries up and withers. Humans are like mere grasshoppers in a field. (Isaiah 40:6, 7, 22) Does one blade of grass have reason to be proud just because it is a little longer than other blades of grass? Does a grasshopper have cause to vaunt its prowess just because it can hop a little farther than other grasshoppers? It is absurd even to think so. Thus, the apostle Paul reminded his fellow Christians: “Who makes you to differ from another? Indeed, what do you have that you did not receive? If, now, you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as though you did not receive it?” (1 Corinthians 4:7) Reflecting on Bible texts such as these can help us to cultivate and display humility. (excerpted: Jehovah Reveals His Glory to Humble Ones w 04 8/1)
Give, Throw, Keep…any combination of (my) 3 organizational categories…will do.
Got it? Give it? Throw it?…will You keep…attention?!…(managing disorder/mess (aka entrophy*), eh? YAY! when my project(s) is/are complete…(who am i kidding: it’s the never-ending project: of “this” life/compassion/family/growth/laundry/learning life skills).
(Seems like the more i try to simplify…the more complicated my organizational skills/requirements must become.)
Man, OUCHY-WAWA! 🙁 i’ve got a (literal) migraine today…could be the cold weather front, etc…POP…my head feels like it could explode. (It’s challenging to concentrate on tasks/typing at hand.) i need some honey, honey…(oh, and you know a cup of green tea) was (in my recent past) reading about: “The Honeycomb” (my highlights) Awake! January 2015
For centuries, mathematicians suspected that partitions in the shape of hexagons were better than equilateral triangles or squares—or any other shape—for maximizing space with the least amount of building material. But they could not fully explain why. In 1999, Professor Thomas C. Hales provided mathematical proof for the advantage of what he termed “honeycomb conjecture.” He demonstrated that regular hexagons are the best way to divide a space into equal parts with minimal structural support.
By using hexagonal cells, bees can make the best use of all the space available to them, produce a light but sturdy honeycomb with a minimum amount of wax, and store the maximum amount of honey in a given space. Not surprisingly, the honeycomb has been described as “an architectural masterpiece.”
Today, scientists mimic the bees’ honeycomb to create structures that are both resilient and space efficient.
(That’s it: a “nature/Divine/God-Yaweh-Jehovah” solution (Divine Education)…my life in honeycomb…arranged (invisibly)/simply and sweetly/hexagonal-y.)
my/man’s self-importance/pride IS dangerous/destructive/venomous to all relationships/ecosystems aka living arrangements on/(in) this planet/(house)…(throw it away)…or get rid of it: self-importance before it destroys all the honey, peace and open……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………space.
Logically thinking/contemplating about the compassionate/healthy/positive/loving ripple/residual effects: (of practical counsel/application thereof):
“Do nothing out of contentiousness or out of egotism, but with humility (or lowliness of mind) consider others superior to you as you look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.“
British scientists have announced that an Icelandic mollusk thought to be about 405 years old was actually 507 years old at its untimely death in 2006. This makes it the longest-lived animal* on record. The clam died when researchers froze it in order to transport it to their lab.
* Here the term “longest-lived animal” excludes colonial organisms, such as coral, which are thought to have lived for thousands of years. ~excerpted: Watching the World (Awake! December 2014)
(Lab) Rats aka rodents? /breathing-fragile-life hurting mice/rodents/breathing-fragile-life year: 2014 (for context please see: Didn’t You know: Real People have Real Ribs & for tickling…sometimes.) and lab rats freezing/killing off the longest-lived animal: year 2006…Gimme a break… or actually: lab rats “GIVE“ it a break!! PLEASE.
Yeah, untimely things happen (and have happened from 2006-2014)…so, man needs to take looooooooooooooooooooooooong timed timely-time out… aka stop hurting life and the planet… in time: for the sake of life/the planet!! Because:
“manhasdominatedmanto his injury.” (Ecclesiastes 8:9)
Is man “cruel” convinced they qualify for/own the “license” to do whatever they want with whatever they want: where/whenever to whomever they want…??
Humble man “kind” knows modesty/its limitations and “manners”… and that “needs” are more important than wants…”GIVE”…all life what they truly “need” thereby sustaining (and not TAKING) life short-long term!
Personally, i’m not too into ‘interfering’ too much with the goings-on of Breathing-Fragile-Life/wildlife/animals…i like to let things be (when/if possible)…for fear, i would somehow damage their fragile eco-system(s)…thereby, cutting short their fragile life! i kinda believe in gentle observation and/or gentle help/participation IF needed (and probably not needed by me -lol)…not trampling down/bulldozing my way into their space…so, i’m t-o-r-n in my feelings/thinking about what kind of participation/involvement i choose when it comes to wildlife…i totally RESPECT life and am not a big fan of man imposing his ideas of treatment on wildlife…which often lead to abuse.
If all of us learners, could go about “learning” aka “living” with “manners” 🙂 …aka compassionate/loving “ways” of living in a kind/respectful/modest/patient and less aggressive mode, would all of us live/learn longer?!
Too bad the longest living animal isn’t around to answer, eh?
(published 9/25/14 @ 9:49 p.m.)
P.S. Will man “cruel” take responsibility/accountability for their death-dealing, untimely, and
non-compassionate actions? i.e. choosing to apologize/change or clam up??