What ticks You off?? (me?) This: the following (statistics/World Values Survey) provoked this post (published 3/19/14 @ 4:04 p.m.):
“in 29 countries around the world, one-third or more of men say it can be acceptable for a husband to “beat his wife.” Perhaps more surprising: In 19 countries, one-third or more of women agree that a husband who beats his wife may be justified, at least some of the time.”
“The data come from polling performed from 2010 through 2014 for the World Values Survey — an extensive study of attitudes in almost 100 countries, conducted on an ongoing basis since 1981. The study is led by an international network of researchers based in Stockholm.”
“The cultural acceptance of spousal abuse can be so pervasive that in some countries, large majorities of women say it’s acceptable. In Rwanda, 96 percent of women say the practice can be justified, according to the World Values Survey. About two-thirds of women in India and South Africa feel the same way. The attitude is also held by large shares of women in countries across the religious and cultural spectra — China, Egypt, Iraq, Nigeria, Peru, the Philippines and Uzbekistan, to cite a few.”
More than 1 in 4 women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence at the hand of a husband or intimate partner, the World Health Organization reported in 2013. In sub-Saharan Africa, the share is about 2 in 3, and in North America, it’s 1 in 5. Excerpted NPR: Alarming Number Of Women Think Spousal Abuse Is Sometimes OK
Poetry can be a reflection of values. The First Man/Husband, Adam, spoke this poem about the First Woman/Wife, Eve: Genesis 2:15-25:
Jehovah God took the man and settled him in the garden of Eʹden to cultivate it and to take care of it.16 Jehovah God also gave this command to the man: “From every tree of the garden you may eat to satisfaction.17 But as for the tree of the knowledge of good and bad, you must not eat from it, for in the day you eat from it you will certainly die.”
18 Then Jehovah God said: “It is not good for the man to continue to be alone. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.”19 Now Jehovah God had been forming from the ground every wild animal of the field and every flying creature of the heavens, and he began bringing them to the man to see what he would call each one; and whatever the man would call each living creature, that became its name.20 So the man named all the domestic animals and the flying creatures of the heavens and every wild animal of the field, but for man there was no helper as a complement of him. 21 So Jehovah God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took one of his ribs and then closed up the flesh over its place. 22 And Jehovah God built the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman, and he brought her to the man.
23 Then the man said:
“This is at last bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh.
This one will be called Woman,
Because from man she was taken.”
24 That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to*(remain with) his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25 And both of them continued to be naked,the man and his wife; yet they were not ashamed.
Read this sweet/logical way of putting the male/female relationship into words:
Man and woman have always yearned to be together. This originated with God. Man and woman are designed to occupy dignified roles in God’s arrangement. (excerpted: Man and Woman–Made for Each Other)
However, this is what we see in many instances/relationships:
Today, however, families are breaking apart, and the relationship between man and woman is often abusive or governed by selfishness. A spirit of competition between the sexes has contributed to conflict and discord. All of this is contrary to God’s purpose for man and woman. Man was designed to fill a wonderful role on earth. Woman was to occupy a unique and worthy place at man’s side. They were to work together in harmony. (excerpted: Man and Woman–Made for Each Other)
A lack of love and a lack of respect…poison to relationships!..(which often leads to all kinds of abuses.)
When both men and women (are willing to) learn unselfishness and compassion…they (can) cultivate qualities within themselves (with (God’s) help) such as: (my highlights)
“They have learned to convey their thoughts and feelings to each other honestly, yet kindly, by cultivating and displaying insight, love, deep respect, and humility. When these fundamental qualities characterize a marriage, the lines of communication are always open.”
i enJOYed reading this practical/logical counsel for both male/female to treat each other in the manner they would like to be treated (or spoken to):
[…] likely you want to be treated with dignity and respect. You appreciate it when others listen to you and care about how you feel. But have you ever heard a person say, “I am going to do to him what he did to me”? Sometimes this reaction is understandable. However, the Bible tells us: “Do not say: ‘I will do to him just as he has done to me.’” (Proverbs 24:29) Jesus taught people the best way to handle difficult situations. What Jesus said is often called the Golden Rule: “Just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them.” (Luke 6:31) Jesus meant that we should treat people the way we would like to be treated, not the way they treat us. This means that we need to put into our marriage what we hope to get out of it.
15 Couples strengthen their relationship when they truly care about each other’s feelings. “We have tried to put the Golden Rule into practice,” says a husband in South Africa. “True, there are times when we’re upset, but we have worked hard to treat each other the way we would like to be treated—with respect and dignity.”
16 Do not reveal your mate’s weaknesses to others or keep complaining about traits that upset you, not even as a joke. Remember that marriage is not a competition to prove who is stronger, who can shout louder, or who can say something that hurts the most. True, all of us are imperfect and sometimes upset others. But there is never a good reason for a couple to make each other feel ashamed, to use hurtful words when speaking to each other or, worse, to push or hit each other.—Read Proverbs 17:27; 31:26.
17 In some cultures, men bully or hit their wives to prove that they are strong. But the Bible says: “The one slow to anger is better than a mighty man, and the one controlling his temper than one conquering a city.” (Proverbs 16:32) A person needs great inner strength to show self-control as did Jesus Christ, the greatest man who ever lived. A man who bullies or hits his wife is a weak man who will lose his relationship with Jehovah. The psalmist David, who was a strong and courageous man, said: “Be agitated, but do not sin. Have your say in your heart, upon your bed, and keep silent.”—Psalm 4:4. (Build a Strong & Happy Marriage w15 1/15 pp. 15-20)
Sadly, some have been educated to believe/practice that aggression/violence/abuse/dominance is strength. “A man who bullies or hits his wife is weak […]” (i’d say the same about a woman who bullies or hits is weak.) Boys and girls both need compassion education aka lessons/examples (worthy of imitation) of true love/agape, forgiveness and kindness, self-control in the home at an early age (and beyond)…for the culture of hate/violence/abuse to stop! All of us, young-old, male-female need to learn and appreciate the value of compassion!:)
PLEASE people, can’t we all show love and respect, forgiveness to each other every day?:) All of us, including myself very much, can improve…making more compassionate choices of speech and action. We may not agree or understand each other completely/fully…our thinking/belief system(s), vocabulary, etc…however, all beautiful-breathing-fragile-life on this beautiful planet deserves dignity, respect, love, education, patience, compassion.
(i was thinking/meditating about “humility”…a humble person isn’t insulting and doesn’t get insulted easily.) Taking ourselves a little less seriously…laughing it off helps, huh? (a value of mine: laughter & Chato makes me laugh!:)
A humble person is willing to see where they need to tweak/adjust, a humble person is willing to accept help…(in its various forms) and from whomever. (It takes courage, choice, compassion to accept change and/or take action and/or accept help.)
It’s so commendable/inspiring/(encouraging to me) when i learn/hear/see “positive” changes some have made in their lives that have benefitted themselves (and their families) tremendously: the following video caught my attention:
Am i Happy??