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seriously?

Joan Winifred

Early morning thought…some times i feel/notice to be taken “seriously” or “sincerely” “legitimately” “genuinely” my face/facial expression has to be seen.

Early morning thought…some times i feel/believe to be taken “sincerely” or “seriously” “genuinely” or “legitimately” my face including any facial expressions should not be seen.

I would rather any Reader “seeing” the “real” inner person/me as expressed/manifested, and perhaps through any writings, than through any surface/superficial outer appearance(s).

a phobia/insecurity/fear…i detest being looked at/stared at/noticed..because of any genetic inheritances. i don’t like much being assessed/judged by physical traits. I would much rather, “IF” appreciated/valued “known” by my fam/friends/readers/listeners for/by my inner content.

When reflecting back on some of my published writings and images made public via here or elsewhere by me or by others…have made personal progress with this phobia/dread…in my imperfect estimation. Before, years before, would “freak” out about the thought of me/freak show…being seen by strangers on-line.

It was really an uncomfortable process…obviously, i’ve shared a few pics here and from time-to-time reconsider/fret over when/IF to take down or not.

Guess, i prefer control over my image/being seen. It’s a weird thing. Yep, i’m a weirdo!  Am extra, extraverted, enjoy meeting new people face-to-face in person. But cannot linger to long on the thought of anyone i don’t know/a stranger seeing any photo of me. Am not as uncomfortable, don’t detest it as much…obviously, because have shared here.

I try not to judge any book by its cover. All of us humans are so MUCH MORE than outer appearances. My parents taught me modesty and not showy display in any form.

It’s just tough, at times, for me: to live in a world where the material, physical, transient things, and the outrageously-braggy-showy showing-off of everything  and at all times seems always…acceptable?..to some of us humans.

It could be a generational thing too..will be 50 soon.

Okay, thanks for understanding Reader!:)

Peace

p.s. please continue to value Your inner-positive traits/attributes.

1/4/19 @ 7:30 a.m.

 

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