The Sunday before…

appreciation comfort control God hope Joan Winifred things i learned

utter despair set in…

don’t be fooled by

the happy smirk

melted make-up

and

stringy hair…aka brief moment captured of quiet relaxation.

 

(note to self: may be?? i might try brushing my hair and fixing my make-up before documentation photos, huh??! lol;)…documentation of me feeling in somewhat control of myself/circumstances…[P.S. please! to whom it may concern/matter, ya right;) like this would matter to anyone but me–don’t misuse any image of me IF You happen upon on-line.  At some point, i intend to take them down; don’t know IF possible?…took down fun/goofy “hat” photos from a blog and yet found circulating on-line, UGHH!!]

when i post photo of myself, that is me controlling the image…and not some random friend/person/stranger/stalker… somebody instagram-ming me without me know-ing…which i don’t appreciate without my permission/knowledge. Thank You for respecting!!…:)

{facing (a) fear is letting strangers see my (me/freak show) face on-line, which i don’t like much…people looking/staring at me, etc. i can’t hide behind my stringy hair my whole life, right? may be? i’ll chop it off IDK.}

From one Sunday to the next SUN—day for context IF needed please read: Sunday Shades of Nuanced Satisfaction

Last Sunday (photo above)…(what was last Sunday’s date? today is 9/4/17) anyway…life seemed good! and it took a turn toward utter despair/non-resolution and fast!!…………………………..however, i am satisfied to get through the (emotional) pain/unpleasant place and make it unscathed to this past Sunday/yesterday feeling “o-kay”…hooray…THANK GOD! (this experience, among many, taught me once again that: “with God all things are possible.”)

Hope You Reader:) are feeling okay?? and in a safe emotional place of high-compassionate-functioning!!:) oh and Thanks for reading my ramblings..hope they encourage You somehow IF not leave this space now.

i employ my emotional/spiritual strategies of pain management (prayer, positive-Bible study, music, etc, exercise)…which usually are quite effective, but somebody pulled an unexpected/deep trigger from a concealed place…and i was too tired/relaxed and smirking-ly-self-assured (see photo above) with the attitude of: i got this all figured out?!…may be to resist too much…oh, ya, i did fight it in the wrong way; the negativity with negativity: OOPS! {but eventually had to let the despair wave wash over me first and then leave me soaked…glad to be through it…and at this “dry” emotional-well-being place: now of peace.}

a lot of it is (coping success):  mouth/mind self-discipline and not letting my thoughts/words on the loose…in the pit of disappointment, hopelessness, and black-hole darkness of super-sensitivity. But hey, sometimes, we all get engulfed before we realize.

time with my Dad doing artwork helped…we are working on a project. And Sabina helped me too. An example of a sweet, happy, positive woman with incredible health challenges seeming insurmountable…non-working arms and legs. (i should upload a video about her here, may be?) She has amazing skills!!:) a beautiful attitude and a beautiful smile and she can accomplish MUCH with her tongue and heart…what i can’t with working arms and legs without biting my tongue.

she helped me understand that difficulties..when courageously faced teach us special skills and focusing on helping Others is key and not being consumed by self-pity and negativity over our particular lot in life.

Hey, i have working fingers, and working eyes, and working arms and working legs. Enough food, enough sleep, healthy kids, etc, roof over my head, and not directly feeling effects of Hurricane Harvey:(…and no reason to give up!…the every day fine fight of compassion.

Sadly, some of us are facing literal hurricanes and figurative ones…but they are only TEMPORARY!! (Please return IF You choose, for a different post on “is the world out of control?”  recent positive readings and practical points about disasters.)

You’re not a sneaky tornado??…right?! -lol:) No! You’re a Friend of Peace!:)

PEACE Friend of Peace:)

 

8/4/17 @ 3:38 p.m.